I have decided to blog again after a very long hiatus. Writing is something that is very therapeutic for me and something that I have missed very much. The last two years have been incredibly busy and stressful for me. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Shauna and miss her. In her absence
I have filled my days with a stressful job and being a busy wife and mother. I have tried to live life large in her footsteps, with some stumbling blocks along the way. At the same time, my heart is filled with love and gratitude for all the blessings in my life. I am very blessed to have my husband and daughter whom I love with all my heart. Having adventures and time with them is what I live for. Because of them, I have survived these past two years. Not necessarily pretty all the time, but I have survived.
This year I am working hard to make some changes. I have tried to quit my job about five times so far, to no avail. This last time is the closest so far. It looks like a replacement is finally being hired for me to train so I can have surgery. A full time person for my crazy part time job. Much needed. There is a chance I may continue a part of my job from home once I have healed. We will see how it all shakes out.
Surgery is never fun, but I am ready. I'm tired of feeling like crap all the time, and this surgery is another step to help me feel better. Bring it on. I will know more when I meet with my surgeon tomorrow. Hoping for a date in February. The sooner the better. I have had to push it off for awhile since I was diagnosed with Graves Disease late this summer. Now my thyroid is almost regulated so it is time for this next step.
I cannot wait to have more time at home. To cook from scratch more often. To have friends over for a cup of tea. To entertain more. To exercise. To read. To write. To remember the things that make me happy. Maybe I will even remember how to be an artist again, how to create beautiful things. I also want to organize and get the house in good shape again. We will have a high school graduation in 1 1/2 years and I want it to be perfect. Then it will go on the market. It will be time for a huge lifestyle change for us as Nat heads to college. So much change ahead. And I will embrace it.
Even my job of "horse show mom" is changing. Natalie was in an accident on her horse in October. She was bucked off at a show when Carmina hurt herself on the cross country course. She hit the ground head first, was unconscious and then had a seizure. She was taken by ambulance to the nearest emergency room where she was diagnosed with a mild traumatic brain injury/concussion. Luckily she had an excellent helmet and safety vest on. They probably saved her life. Things could have been so much worse. Slowly she is recovering from her brain injury. School has been a bit of a challenge. College entrance exams have had to be postponed. She finally rode a horse for the first time yesterday after a forced 3 1/2 month break. Her horse goals have changed. Possibly no more eventing for her. Possibly selling Carmina. So much is up in the air.
I want this blog to document the changes ahead. I want to share my experiences with you. I want to share recipes, favorite books, organization projects, art and decorating projects. You name it. And all on a budget... without my job I will have to start cutting coupons and bargain shop for everything. I also hope to share my new horse show mom adventures here as well. Perhaps I will become a polo mom? Nat is trying a lesson on Wednesday :)
So here I go, ready or not. Change is ahead and I am ready. "Change is good" sounds like a great motto for 2012.
Cost Plus and Target had some fun straws, umbrellas, skewers and toothpicks to make everything so festive. My friend Jaci came over for the afternoon and evening and was a HUGE help to get everything ready. The kids showed up around 5:00 and some of the parents joined us as well. It was so much work but so worth it. Such a GREAT evening!! And this why I do it... for my precious daughter. Isn't she gorgeous? Inside and out :) Making all these precious moments count.
