A Celebration of Life

I made this slideshow for Shauna's Celebration of Life. Many thanks to family and friends who helped me gather the photos. More thanks to my incredible husband who so kindly provided tech support. I have never posted video on my blog before... hope it works.

Goodbye, My Friend.

I have not been able to write for awhile... my dear Shauna passed away on December 3rd. Ever since, I have been planning her services, grieving, and trying to celebrate Christmas with my family. Tomorrow is Shauna's Celebration of Life. I wanted to share my last day with Shauna...

I saw Shauna the day before she passed away. Dave asked me to come over and be a witness for Shauna signing her will.

Shauna had this whole will thing hanging over her for a LONG time... she had mentioned several times this summer... "I really need to go downtown and sign my will" but never seemed to get it done. I think it was just too hard for her to deal with.

Shauna was in bed that morning. I went up to see her and gave her a big hug and held her hand. We talked briefly before the attorney arrived. I had tried really hard to not cry around Shauna at the end. I wanted to be strong, as if everything was "normal". But that day, there were tears. Before I went in the house that day, Dave had asked me to plan Shauna's services. Also a source of many tears.

The attorney arrived, Shauna sat right up and wrote out her gorgeous, beautiful signature. I signed as a witness. Our friend Jaci was also there as the other witness. Afterwards we had to go downstairs to sign the notary book. My tears were really starting flow.

I went back upstairs to say goodbye to S. She squeezed my hand so tightly and looked up at me with those big, beautiful blue eyes and said "Paris, are you okay?". I giggled a little, caught off-guard that she had said that. I replied, "I'm okay if you are." I told her again how much I loved her. I just couldn't believe that on a day like that, she asked me how I was doing. She cared so deeply for those she loved, and even when facing death she was mostly worried about everyone else.

I really didn't think that would be the last time I would see Shauna. She was still alert, talking, sitting up without assistance. I received a few more texts from her that day. The next morning, I texted her as usual but did not hear back from her.

Later that day, almost to the barn, I got the call from Cheryl that S had been transported to the hospital. She asked me to come over to the house to help with a project. We both expected Shauna to come home that night.

We hurried home from the barn. I made dinner so it would be ready for my family, then waited for Cheryl's call. I started to worry. I texted and called Cheryl. She was on her way back to the hospital with the kids... that S was unresponsive. She said that Elizabeth was at the hospital so I texted her. Elizabeth called me back right after, with the news that S was gone. Natalie was the only one home with me at the time. She held me as I cried and cried. Jim arrived home soon after, and the three of us held each other. It was the single most sad night of my life.

I was able to go to the hospital to say goodbye to Shauna after she was gone. I will be forever grateful for that. There was nothing unsaid between us but I was still glad to say goodbye. I tried so very hard to leave nothing unsaid these last 3.5 years. One night in October, I sat down and wrote her a 10 page letter. No where in that letter did I say goodbye, but I tried to celebrate everything wonderful about her and our friendship together. That letter is buried with S, along with a photo of us together. I have a copy of it and will cherish it forever.

Shauna and I both wore friendship necklaces... the kind pre-teens probably give to each other ;) Cheryl was kind enough to give me Shauna's necklace so I now wear them both with much love. It will forever be a symbol of my unforgettable friendship with S. I am so very blessed to have known and felt such friendship and love. Love you forever, S.

Fundraiser for my BFF

As many of you know, one of my best friends has been battling Stage IV cancer of unknown origin for 3 1/2 years now.

I wanted to let you know about a book I have created on Shauna's behalf. It is an 8 1/2" x 11" soft-bound printed book that combines many of Shauna's amazing Galapagos photos with selected writings from her blog. Many of the writings are from her experience with Write Around Portland.

With her permission, I am selling copies of this book as a fundraiser for the Shauna Berglund-Immel Lifeline Fund. My cost for the book is $22 plus shipping (approx. $2). Any donation in addition to the $24 will be donated to Shauna.

This book has been a labor of love and a celebration of my friendship with Shauna. I would be greatly touched to share this book with all who love and support Shauna.

If you would like to order a book, please contact me via email:

parisdukes@comcast.net

You may make checks payable to me, Paris Dukes, or send payment via paypal at jandpdukes@comcast.net. My address is:

12235 SW Fulmar Terrace
Beaverton, OR 97007

I will forward any donations (not including the price of the book) to the Immel family as the orders come in.

Thank you for your continued support. Your donations will be greatly appreciated. Please contact me with any questions.

Fondly,
Paris

Today I am Thankful...

Over on Facebook, there was a challenge to post one thing that you are thankful for each day before Thanksgiving. It has been such a blessing for me to think about all of the good things in my life, especially when things have been so hard for many that I love.

I hope each and every one of you have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving Day. May you have a wonderful day!!

Here are a few things I am so thankful for....

• My husband. He is my rock, my best friend, my true love.
• My daughter. She makes me so proud everyday. Being her mom is the best job in the world.
• Living in Oregon. My beautiful home sweet home.
• My friends and family. I am so blessed to know such love and kindness.

Much more to be thankful for, but those are some of the biggies :)

Happy 15!!!!!

Happy 15th birthday to my baby girl. You are the best thing to ever happen to your dad and me. We love you with all of our heart and soul. You make our lives complete. How did you ever get to be so grown up and lovely? It happened in the blink of an eye, and we have enjoyed every second. You make us proud everyday, Natalie Jayne. xoxoxoxo

Where do I start???

Life has been a blur since August.... wondering how to put it all into words.

We had a great time at USPC Western Championships. The rental RV worked out great and Nat did a great job as both a member of a Quiz team and as Stable Manager for a Show Jumping Team. She made lots of new friends and had a fun time!

I had several interviews for part-time employment... and did not get any of the jobs. Thinking there was a reason for that. I think you will agree when you keep reading... although a pay check would be really nice about now.

Memo did not sell yet. The funny (?) part is that she has been AWESOME! We are thinking that giving her a break from showing this summer, lots of bareback work, and Natalie growing a ton has helped them both! They have had some amazing rides so we are just kind of going with it right now. We had to suck it up and buy a (very used!) horse trailer (lost our ride to PC meetings) so that should give us lots of freedom to get out and do some schooling shows and clinics. Looking forward to some fun horsey times this fall. And yes, I am learning how to drive the horse trailer and we all survived the inaugural voyage. Go me.

Natalie is now a FRESHMAN in high school! How did that happen?? She is at the same school... ACMA... and continues to love it. She is very buried in homework as she is taking three honors classes this semester.

And now onto the not-so-fun stuff....

My dear friend Shauna was admitted for a short stay in the hospital the beginning of September. On that same night, my dad went into cardiac arrest and was taken to the Salem Hospital. Crazy, crazy night. Short story: he went into cardiac arrest four times and they brought him back each time. Since he was not conscious, they tried a hypothermia-type treatment where they cooled his body off for 24 hours, then warmed him up gradually. It helps to prevent any swelling of the brain. It worked like a charm... he was awake and talking almost immediately after warming up. No signs of brain damage. They did discover a major blockage in his heart.

Fast forward a couple weeks more, Shauna was back in the hospital for two weeks. At the end of her stay, my dad went in for triple bypass surgery. Surgery was very scary with all of his risk factors, but he did very well and is now home and recovering.

Shauna is now home too, with a Palliative Care team in place. She is still doing aggressive chemo along with a hospice-type situation at home. Docs have basically shut down her digestive system and she is being nourished/hydrated intravenously by TPN. She has an NG (nasalgastro) tube in place to relieve pressure in her stomach and to get rid of the severe vomiting/nausea she was having. She is the strongest person I know... a true hero... to go through all that she has the past 3+ years. She is such a fighter, and is making the best of being tied down at home. Some days she has been up for visitors, and we even took a walk around the neighborhood last week. So good for us to have time together and get some fresh air :) I look forward to seeing her any chance I can... I really miss spending my days with her. Quite an adjustment for me as I got used to our walking, coffee dates and errands almost every day. I am so blessed to have her in my life, and look forward to having her back in action soon.

Life continues to be a roller coaster every day. I much prefer the high parts of the roller coaster to the upside down and downward spiral parts. Sometimes I get really, really down and find myself hiding out. I try so hard to be grateful for everyday and all of the blessings in my life... it is really the only way I have been able to (barely!) survive the chaos. Jim and Natalie are my rocks. I love them so very much.

Summertime

And the livin' is easy.

I'm guilty. I've been goofing off all summer. Not a good blogger at all.

We started the summer off with a FUN road trip! We spent a night in Reno, a night in Las Vegas, then hit the Grand Canyon. It was my third time there, but Natalie's first. What a sight to behold. It was nice to have Jim's parents along.

We headed back to Vegas after two nights in Arizona and had a great time with our family and friends. Luckily, we missed out on the really high temps. Not too bad at all.

Eventually we headed north to Zion National Park... another gorgeous place! It was fun to have Jim's parents, Jason, Marie and Gracie with us. We stayed at the Zion River Resort in cabins... kind of "fake" camping. Jim's aunt and uncle are camp hosts there... always fun to see them.

Our big hikes were The Narrows and Angel's Landing. LOVED The Narrows! It was wonderful to hike through the cool water when it was so hot. Still can't believe I did Angel's Landing... in the heat of the day no less!! Lots of water and stops along the way, but I made it without having a heart attack!

It is always hard to say goodbye to family. After a great breakfast and photo shoot, we headed north again to Bryce National Park. Unfortunately, we only had a couple of hours to spend there. We will definitely go back... stunning!! Our final destination for that day was Grand Junction, Colorado so lots of hours in the car.

In Junction, we stayed with our good friends, The Wilson's. They are really more like family. Rachel, Annie and Scarlett drove over from the big city to spend time with us! Talk about lots of fun and laughter. We had a ball!!!

We drove over to Gunnison for a day to see my nephew, Drew. He goes to college at Western State. It was great to see where he lives. Beautiful! We took a trip over to Crested Butte... another great Colorado town.

After two weeks on the road, it was time to head home. We spent the night in Baker City at an historic old hotel that had been refurbished. Such a cute little town!

The rest of the summer has been a blur. We are still trying to sell Memo... no luck yet :( Kind of weird to not be spending every other weekend at a horse event, but also kind of nice. We still spend plenty of time at the barn :) We had a great camping trip with the Thomas family at Stub Stewart State Park. Good times. We are going canoeing with my family this Sunday. In August, we are renting an RV and going to USPC Western Championships at Donida Farm. Natalie is not taking Memo, but will be participating in Quiz Rally and as Stable Manager for the Show Jumping team. Should be almost like a vacation not having a horse around!!

Will try to post again before autumn ;)

19 Years of Wedded Bliss

Last year, on our 18th anniversary, I told the story of our wedding. It was a rainy (monsoon!!) day in Las Vegas that I will never forget.

This year we already celebrated our anniversary a couple of weeks earlier by going to Astoria. What a great time!!

Trying out some micro-brews and having lunch at Ft. George Brew Pub:

Definitely a great place for a smooch... the Astoria Column:

A hidden away beach on the hike to Cape Disappointment lighthouse:

Enjoying a walk on Delray Beach:

The Cannery Pier Hotel was amazing, and we cannot wait to go back!! We had so much fun riding bikes on the river walk, going to dinner at the Bridgewater Bistro, walking through the farmer's market and so much more. A very romantic weekend together :)

Happy Anniversary to my best friend and soulmate. I love you with all of my heart, Jim. Thank you for being the most amazing husband I could ever dream of. You make everyday seem like our honeymoon all over again... I treasure every minute we have together. I can't wait for the next 19+ years with you, babe. Cheers!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxox