I saw Shauna the day before she passed away. Dave asked me to come over and be a witness for Shauna signing her will.
Shauna had this whole will thing hanging over her for a LONG time... she had mentioned several times this summer... "I really need to go downtown and sign my will" but never seemed to get it done. I think it was just too hard for her to deal with.
Shauna was in bed that morning. I went up to see her and gave her a big hug and held her hand. We talked briefly before the attorney arrived. I had tried really hard to not cry around Shauna at the end. I wanted to be strong, as if everything was "normal". But that day, there were tears. Before I went in the house that day, Dave had asked me to plan Shauna's services. Also a source of many tears.
The attorney arrived, Shauna sat right up and wrote out her gorgeous, beautiful signature. I signed as a witness. Our friend Jaci was also there as the other witness. Afterwards we had to go downstairs to sign the notary book. My tears were really starting flow.
I went back upstairs to say goodbye to S. She squeezed my hand so tightly and looked up at me with those big, beautiful blue eyes and said "Paris, are you okay?". I giggled a little, caught off-guard that she had said that. I replied, "I'm okay if you are." I told her again how much I loved her. I just couldn't believe that on a day like that, she asked me how I was doing. She cared so deeply for those she loved, and even when facing death she was mostly worried about everyone else.
I really didn't think that would be the last time I would see Shauna. She was still alert, talking, sitting up without assistance. I received a few more texts from her that day. The next morning, I texted her as usual but did not hear back from her.
Later that day, almost to the barn, I got the call from Cheryl that S had been transported to the hospital. She asked me to come over to the house to help with a project. We both expected Shauna to come home that night.
We hurried home from the barn. I made dinner so it would be ready for my family, then waited for Cheryl's call. I started to worry. I texted and called Cheryl. She was on her way back to the hospital with the kids... that S was unresponsive. She said that Elizabeth was at the hospital so I texted her. Elizabeth called me back right after, with the news that S was gone. Natalie was the only one home with me at the time. She held me as I cried and cried. Jim arrived home soon after, and the three of us held each other. It was the single most sad night of my life.
I was able to go to the hospital to say goodbye to Shauna after she was gone. I will be forever grateful for that. There was nothing unsaid between us but I was still glad to say goodbye. I tried so very hard to leave nothing unsaid these last 3.5 years. One night in October, I sat down and wrote her a 10 page letter. No where in that letter did I say goodbye, but I tried to celebrate everything wonderful about her and our friendship together. That letter is buried with S, along with a photo of us together. I have a copy of it and will cherish it forever.
Shauna and I both wore friendship necklaces... the kind pre-teens probably give to each other ;) Cheryl was kind enough to give me Shauna's necklace so I now wear them both with much love. It will forever be a symbol of my unforgettable friendship with S. I am so very blessed to have known and felt such friendship and love. Love you forever, S.
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